Born and village bred in Fiji. That’s me. I was born to my then single mother. I never experienced the joys of a normal family. I was separated from both my parents who lived their own separate lives. Abandoned and left in the care of my elderly and frail grandmother, apart from struggling to go to school each day, I found myself fending for our lives. I had a very difficult upbringing. My mother had married and lived with her family and I was not part of it. Going to school was a challenge in itself, as I had to swim across a river holding my books and school uniform aloft with one hand so as not to get them wet. Many a days would see me feeding on sugarcane, mango, and wild fruit which I often picked on my way to school.
At 15 years of age, my Grandmother died, leaving me on my own in the village. Except for the few relatives and people that genuinely had my best interest at heart, I experienced a lot of injustice and I was always the child that was frowned upon and cursed by many. It was then arranged by relatives that I move to Suva, the Capital City of Fiji to live with my fathers relatives so that I could complete my studies. So, the next two years saw me adjusting to life with my fathers relatives. It was quite a challenge fitting into their circle. I had never met them before. I always felt like the odd one out. Endless tasks and errands were always my portion and although I am thankful for their help, I must say that I would overhear piercing and negative comments about my life at times. I could have easily given up. But I had no other choice. It made me more determined than ever to change my life. But how and when was something that I constantly prayed for. If I were to fulfil my dreams and ambition, being in the capital city with its many opportunities would be the closest I could get. In my pursuit for success and happiness, I found myself making many mistakes. My life was, as I call it, a ‘Cut and paste/ trial and error’. I am no saint. Each mistake that I have made in my life has been a stepping stone to realigning my goals and redirecting my plans.
As I entered adulthood, I managed to get a job as a ‘sparky’ in a Steel Mill in Fiji. Even though I earned a meager sum each month, I was determined to overcome the odds. Several months later, I was blessed to find myself in New Zealand as a paid apprentice for the same Steel Milling company I worked for in Fiji. I was determined to save up enough money to travel and my inspiration was an Uncle who was in the SAS. I longed to follow in his footsteps. I applied to join the British Army in 1999 and I enlisted in 2000. I joined the Gloucestershire, Berkshire and Wiltshire (RGBW) Regiment which is now the First Battalion, the Rifles, based in Chepstow.
My wife Ana, who I met and married in Fiji, joined me in 2003. Ana was a breath of fresh air for me. Not only was she beautiful, she was also well bred, well educated and intelligent. She taught me many things about life. Things I missed out on whilst growing up. I owe her so much. We settled in Hounslow, West London. In 2004, our daughter joined us. In 2005, my RGBW Regiment moved to Chester and because Ana was working in London, we requested to remain in London. That was granted and I moved Regiment to the Worcestershire Sherwood Forest Regiment (Robin Hood Regiment), now known as the 2 Mercian Regiment. The Regiment moved into Hounslow staying until 2008. They are now based in Belfast Northern Ireland.
On Tour of Duty
My first tour of Afghanistan was in 2005 for 6 months. That tour went by so fast and I was back in the UK in no time. In 2007. I returned to Afghanistan for the usual 6 month tour. With the desert as home for around 2- 3 weeks at a time, minimal essential supplies and sleeping rough was the norm and the risk of being attacked was a constant threat. Little did I know that the threat was looming even closer, honing down on me. A few months into the tour, whilst on a routine patrol in Southern Helmand, the unthinkable happened. The vehicle carrying my fellow soldiers and I hit a landmine, throwing me about 30 meters away. The first realisation of the impact and the extent of my injuries dawned upon me when upon trying to stand up with much pain and difficulty, I looked down toward my legs to see if everything was okay. To my horror, I found my left leg was completed shattered and blown off from below my knee. Blood was all over me. My right leg only went as far as my lower thigh and slighty above my knee. The rest of what was left was dangling helplessly on threads of remaining skin and bones. It was my faith in God and His divine intervention that redirected my fate that day. I will be forever thankful that I survived my horrific injuries and to live to tell my tale is a blessing for me. At the field hospital in Afghanistan where I was rushed to, I slipped into a coma. Presumed dead, my heart stopped three times and was just seconds away from being put into a body bag when an alert paramedic observed a faint pulse and miraculously I was brought back to life. After an emergency evacuation from the battlefields of Afghanistan my next recollection was waking up in Birmingham’s Selly Oaks hospital and seeing my wife Ana at my bedside.
I vividly remember telling Ana that I needed to take my boots off and to visit the bathroom. I was experiencing my first ever ‘phantom limbs’, as I was later told. A condition whereby amputees can still feel their lost limb as being very much still part of their body. I couldn’t look down to my feet as I was strapped onto the bed since I had severed a spinal cord as well, apart from other multiple injuries. The more I insisted that my feet felt hot and it was about time my boots came off, the more Ana protested calmly that my request was impossible to fulfil. Finally with a quivering voice and tears streaming down her face she choked uncontrollably on her words and revealed to me that I had lost both my legs in the explosion. I found that strange and hard to believe because I could still feel my legs intact, hot and stuffed up from the desert boots I was still wearing. Honestly, frustration and confusion came upon me. The only way Ana could get me to understand why I couldn’t get up was to take a picture of me and show it to me. I was speechless, I had no idea or recollection at that time, that I had undergone a double above the knee amputation on my legs, or suffered a broken collarbone, spine and losing several teeth.
The start of recovery
At first, naturally I was very pessimistic. Why me? How did this happen? I was flooded all at once with questions, answers and reasons for my situation. However, despite this, as a born again Christian I felt comforted that God was there for me and that He would see me through this. I whispered to Ana, ’Lets start again, we have faith in God, and he has allowed me to live and tell my story. If my story encourages others to fight through similar experiences then it will be worth the effort”. It is God to whom I give the glory for giving me back my life and I will be forever thankful to God.
During my second week in Birmingham Selly Oaks hospital, a couple paid a visit to all the injured soldiers in the ward. My bed was the first that they visited and they introduced themselves as Bryn and Emma Parry. We had a great conversation and they were very encouraging. They were very supportive and obviously affected by what they saw. Soon after their visit, I later learned that the ‘Help for Heroes Charity was founded and that they were the founders. To this day I have remained a friend and a firm believer and supporter of the Charity. Bryn and Emma were part of the inspiration toward my speedy recovery and that is why I fully support Help for Heroes.
To say the weeks and months to follow were tough is an understatement. It was hard, not only for myself but for my family. Our daughter found it very difficult to accept my injuries and because our whole life had to be rearranged, she found it difficult to readjust. She is now back in Fiji. My wife Ana was my rock and I owe her so much for her support and determination. Not everyone who goes through this experience is as blessed as I am to have such strong support. We both have witnessed a lot of horror stories with regard to relationships between injured lads and their partners. Very sad indeed. Ana was literally by my bedside from day one helping me get back on my feet again. From menial tasks to my learning to walk, she was there for me. Through sleepness nights and endless days, Ana stood by me through thick and thin. She is the epitome of the ‘in sickness and in health’ wedding vow. If I were to be Prime Minister for a day, I would go out of my way to recognize the unseen, hidden, background support that honest and faithful wives give to their injured husbands. Love gets tested during such trying times and it is true love that prevails. I am reminded here also of the unwaivering support of the tireless and loving mothers, sisters and other family members of the injured. If I could, I would honor them all publicly. It is people like these that make life worth fighting for when you’re down and out. My journey to recovery has been quite a challenge because ‘where all hope failed’ and where doctors presumed that I would be worse off, I have defied all odds. I have had little triumphs along the way which has lead to bigger and momentous achievements. Today, I go out of my way to help and inspire others with a similar situation to mine.
I was once as an avid Rugby Player. I love sport and after learning to walk, I was really keen to learn to run and now do so on my futuristic metal prosthetic legs! It was ‘Help for Heroes’ influence that managed to get me a place at the Olympic Training Centre in San Diego, through a scheme called ‘Battle Back’ coordinated by Martin Colclough. It was where my potential to be a future Paralympian was first assessed. From then on things have only gotten better. Shot Put and Discus are my disciplines and I’ve already broken two British records in Shot Put! But despite all this, it hasn’t been plain sailing for me, I still need to go to the Defence Medical Rehabilitation Centre (DMRC) at Headley Court for regular changes to my legs, so I am constantly having to learn to wear a new limb and break it in, this is now part of my life. It’s not easy adjusting to new leg fittings. The pain is beyond description but hey, I have to go through it in order to get me moving ahead with things and to sort my life out in so doing. My current short term goal and motivation is to represent Great Britain in the 2012 Paralympics. I have learnt through my adversity that life is short and every minute counts. To live life without purpose is a waste of time and space. If we’re not careful ‘old age’ will creep up on us and we will be rudely awakened ill-prepared for it. While we still have the breath of life and energy, we must work hard to prepare ourselves for our twilight years.
Help for Heroes are an incredible charity. They recently announced that hey have raised a staggering 100 million pounds, all this money is spoken for and goes directly to the wounded soldiers, from purchasing equipment, to helping with grants given to around 30 Military Charities. Preparations are also underway for a number of Recovery Centres around the country. There is still a lot of work to be done in helping to rehabilitate our wounded therefore Help for Heroes needs to continue to encourage the general public to support and donate. Without ‘Help for Heores’, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have realised my current ambition of representing Great Britain in next years Paralympics. Who’d have thought that possible back in 2007 at Selly Oak’s Hospital?
Whilst supporting Help for Heores, I was introduced to Vauxhall Motors, where I volunteered to support their Vauxhall Power Festival at Silverstone. The Festival was held purely to raise money for Help for Heroes and it was here that they handed a cheque over to the charity for a staggering £75,000! Since then I have continued to support Vauxhall with their Help for Heroes Campaign through motivation and fundraising activities and have recently been provided with a Vauxhall Insignia Sports Tourer, which has been adapted to suit my disabilities. This vehicle is invaluable and supports my transportation needs whilst training and attending Help for Heroes fundraising activities.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my experience and please check out my other blogs as I continue to support Help for Heroes and my quest to get Paralympic glory for Great Britain!
Derek
(As I am busy with my training schedule, my wife Ana writes up my blogs for me)
